Guess whose coming to dinner...Chipotle version

OK in reading Churches' rendition of dinner Saturday she left out a few key things...

We were trying to find out what the waiters nationality was...but she failed to mention that he spoke like he had a swollen tongue, a lisp and a mouthful of marbles! He wasn't to swift either not the brightest crayon in the box bbbuuuuttt sweet never the less I guess.





Please note this entire topic came up while I was enjoying my bbq baked beans....talk about ruined!

Dirty Sanchez depiction

The first term brought up was the "Sandusky" courtesy of  "Onion Ring" (he will make some guest appearances as well) to the new term used for anal sex which is "Sandusky." Then (French Fry another guest appearance) asks if we know what the "Dirty Sanchez" was...wish we would have never said "no, what is that?"





Well once this conversation got started we were on a roll I pulled out my EVO and started Googling terms...so you guessed it here we are in the middle of a nice restaurant reading crazy new sex terms aloud and snickering like kids! Tee hee don't judge us!!

I won't even tell you what the Spider-man is...my facial expression with that one ---> o_O
Yeah umm...Thanks again for dinner guys!

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner

Guess who’s coming to dinner… You guessed it.. Chipotle and Churches. Saturday was date night in the City. Chipotle and I took a couple of hot guys out to dinner. When I say “we” took “them” out to dinner, I mean we picked the restaurant and they paid. Hey fellas next time dinner is on us ..promise

The restaurant of our choosing.. Fiorella’s Jack Stack Barbecue… if you’re ever in Kansas City, stop by any of their locations. The baked beans are to die for   .. 2nd best  bbq joint in the City.. I am a little partial to Gates BBQ… I think I just enjoy having people yell at me as soon as I enter their establishment. If you’ve ever been to Gates in Kansas City then you know what I am talking about. Before you even get a chance to look at the menu or utter your order, you are met with the famous, “Hi May I Help You!!”… this greeting is normally shouted, making you completely forget the whole reason you were there in the first place.

Dinner was delish.. but the dinner conversation was the highlight of the evening. It all started with our dinner party trying to figure out the nationality of our waiter. Many guesses were made and all of them were WRONG… so to put our eager minds at rest we finally asked him… and the answer.. Cambodian. This guy didn’t look like any Cambodian I had ever seen.  When I think about someone of Cambodian heritage I think of something like this ok I know that is very stereotypical of me but thats what came to mind (DJM)..   instead we got something like this … ok I exaggerate a little but he was not what I had imagine.

Typical dinner conversation ensued until I was introduced to the term “Dirty Sanchez”.. First I would like to apologize in advance to anyone name Sanchez.. Clean, Dirty or otherwise. Believe me when I tell you that I was completely taken off guard when I heard this. For those of you who do not know what this is… I’ll try to explain as best I can without breaking out into a full on laugh attack and thus not finishing my story… okay…………………. Sorry I had to take a break and get all the giggles out before I could finish. So without further ado… 

A Dirty Sanchez is when someone sticks their finger in their bum  hole and wipe the contents across someone else’s upper lip to make a mustache. Now while the act itself is gross to say the least … the mere thought of it gives me the giggles… who in there right mind would do such a thing… I can only think that this would happen to the person bold enough to try

at least that would be my reaction if I was on the receiving end of a Dirty Sanchez…

The other wonderful term I was introduced to over dinner was “Donkey Punched” Now unlike the Dirty Sanchez this requires actual physical contact. A Donkey Punched is something you do while engaged in sexual intercourse. While engaged in sex in the “Doggy Style” position, the giver proceeds to literally punch the receiver in the back of the head. This is done to increase sexual arousal.. … nothing about that is going to get me aroused… Please see image above if your not sure what a Donkey Punch will get you…

Needless to say dinner was good and I learned a very valuable lesson… Never have dinner with Chipotle (unless she’s paying)

The LifeSavers That Saved A Life...

Who would have ever thought that lifesavers really saves lives...


And no, I am not talking about the life savers you find on boats. I'm talking about the wonderfully delicious, circular candy, specifically Butter Rum.


Here is the tale of how Churches & Chipotle came to be and how a single lifesaver saved a life.
*dim lights* It was just your average night out in the City... 3 hot chicks looking for fun (well at least we consider ourselves humbly hot tee hee hee). We decided we would head to one of our local entertainment districts for a few drinks and hopefully some eye candy. Needless to say drinks are all we got. The eye candy was more like sour patch kids and nerds.

But the night was not a complete waste for somebody had a great idea..

"Let's go to the Hookah Bar*..."
(scratches hookah bar off the ol bucket list)
*we shall explain what Hookah bar is at the end*On the way to the Hookah bar we were fortunate to observe a lovers’ quarrel between two fella's...oh isn't love grand...cursing each other out, shoving one another in a cab then back out again...oh to be in love... LoL, At any rate... so we mosey on along and make it to the Hook! I have been introduced to the Hookah experience but Chipotle had not, but together we were total Hookah Bar virgins. The thought of sitting around sucking on a pipe shared with friends seemed so so so well "unvirgin like".... So we examine the menu (yes they had a menu) we appropriately decide on the flavor Sex On The Beach... And heck why not we were already sucking on a pipe, it might as well have had a visually pleasing thought to go along with the act…

We take our seats all gitty like 5yrs olds at Christmas… A couple of puffs in and we think we are some Hookah pros.. there was no way you could tell us we didn’t know what we were doing.. That is.. until one of the workers came over to tell us just that.. who asked him anyway.. “Hookah Bar Virgins” are allowed mistakes. It’s in the Hookah Bar Virgin manual (page 6 paragraph 3).. so after we were so rudely interrupted with “proper hookah” instructions, we went back to Hookahing (is that a word.. DANG right it is because I said it is now what sucka) we meet “McDonalds” and “Wendys” (they actually introduced themselves as such).... two very nice young men who happen to work that the fore mention places.. so we being the nice and inviting women that we are, introduced ourselves as Chipotle, Panera, and Churches (Panera will be making guest appearances)... it only seems appropriate since they introduced themselves as “McDonalds”& “Wendys”.. So that is how Chipotle and Churches came to be.. but enough of that.. on to the good stuff..


We get to the car and Chipotle is all.."I think I am going to throw up".. At the sounds of this, Panera makes a mad dash out the car. I think she reached the sidewalk in 2.2 seconds.. While Panera was smart to make a mad dash, I sat there cool and collect. This cool and collective demeanor was brought to you by Rum & Coke... I think i had the reaction time of a sloth.


So we hookah the night away having our own merry good time until it is time to leave...*que the music*..









Well at this point it's a little past two and we get to the car and Chipotle is all.."I think I am going to throw up"..



At the sounds of this, Panera makes a mad dash out the car. I think she reached the sidewalk in 2.2 seconds.. While Panera was smart to make a mad dash, I sat there cool and collect. This cool and collective demeanor was brought to you by Rum & Coke... I think i had the reaction time of a sloth. So good ole Chipotle proceeds to roll down the window in anticipation of the "Earl"...

So me being the wise and noble person that I am proceed to search in my bag for the all knowing "Lifesaver of Life" Butter Rum. After that a couple of Butter Rums in her system and fresh night air! Chipotle was all better and at this point, started the car in anticipation of leaving Panera who was of absolutely no assistance. I guess Chipotle figured maybe Panera could catch a "Subway" home....tee hee. We laughed all the way home and it was good night amongst friends. We hope you enjoyed this ride with us boys and girl and will come back for the next Adventures of Chipotle & Churches!






*The hookah lounge (also called a shisha bar or den, especially in Britain and parts of Canada, or a hookah bar) is an establishment where patrons share shisha (flavored tobacco) from a communal hookah or nargile which is placed at each table. Some hookah lounges are business modeled as such from their inception. Others are cafés or other establishments to which the element of hookah smoking was added later. Hookah lounges of all sorts have become popular in parts of Europe and North America in the last decade. -Source good ol "Wikipedia"

Coming Soon!!!